
Spiritual Disconnect
“The bridge washed out, I can’t swim, and my baby’s on the other side” ~~ (*1)
These words from an old country-western song, popular in the days of my youth, tumbled through my head. Over and over the refrain repeated itself. Over and over, and then over and over. It seemed I could think of nothing else.
Sometimes in moments of sheer and utter frustration, when I don’t in any way see a logical reason for existing, when I feel that I am without purpose, life has no meaning, and the rudder to my ship has broken off and drifted out to sea, some dumb little sing-song, nonsensical rhyme or chorus will run non-stop through my head, as if the DJ has dropped dead of a heart attack in the middle of his shift and the automatic replay switch has kicked in. These were often thumps on the head to get my attention regarding some sort of spiritual message that was trying to come through.
This apparently was one of those times. So, I started dissecting the chorus mentally. Perhaps there was another meaning there for me, other than some poor country boy’s frustration at not being able to get to his girlfriend during a severe thunderstorm.
So I began…..
“the bridge washed out”
If emotions are sometimes exemplified as water, then my emotions have seemingly carried away my connection (bridge) to my God-self.
“I can’t swim”…….enough said. That pretty much sums up my current feelings about my self. Life is a vast and endless ocean, and I can’t swim. Have you ever felt like that? This time I don’t even have those little air-inflated armbands – those valuable little supports that keep you afloat with little or no effort on your part.
I had recently ventured forth into the “public eye”, planning to take my God-given gifts to the next level. Heretofore I had guarded them protectively, like a mother bear does her cubs. I used them and doled them out periodically, only as I saw fit, when it felt safe, when I was certain that they would be accepted, or at least not rejected, and then only for a chosen few – my trusted friends or a dear family member. Sometimes these were people who were ready to transition anyway, and thus would take the secret of my gift to the next dimension with them. Yes, I would surely be safe then. Safe from rejection. Safe from ridicule. Safe from my gift being used against me, or of “credit” being given to someone else. This, I told myself frequently, is only your Ego’s assessment of this virtual reality. In the Universe, there truly is no competition. Each creation is given unique gifts by the Creator with plans of being expressed and shared in this lifetime. Even when it appears that gifts have been duplicated among God’s children, it is in the expression and use of these gifts, through the individual’s personality and vibration that gives them their unparalleled and incomparable flavor. That still sounded logical at this point.
“and my baby’s on the other side”…….
This seemed clear enough too. It must be referring to the illusion of separation, the fact that, even though I know intellectually that there is no duality, it often feels like God is there and I am here. I think I have found the crux of the matter…..the reason why this refrain is rolling through my mind. And guess what??
It’s the same darn thing that it always is. It’s separation anxiety, or the illusion thereof. How can God and I be connected? How can I be a child of God, a spark of the Divine, when I’m not worthy? Here’s where the internal conflict flares up again. I believe that I am a messenger, bringing truth and hope and love and light and joy to others incarnated here. So, is that a part-time job? Am I only a messenger when I feel worthy and when life seems to be going my way? Could I possibly have signed up for such a nonsensical assignment as that? Either I am a messenger or I am not. So, what’s it gonna be?
How does it feel when I’m in the flow? It feels natural and easy and magical and blissful. Without thinking, I seem to be able to connect heart-to-heart with the person with whom I am talking. Words tumble from my mouth before the sentences form in my mind. Without thinking. Without thinking. Without thinking, the spheres of thought-feelings knit together and the created fabric comes out in words which sound knowledgeable, wise, firm, gentle, loving, perfect. Yep, that’s how it feels alright. When I have finished passing on the message, I feel complete…….like I have finished a task on my list of “things to do” and checked it off. Like I have honored a commitment from some other time and place. Like I have upheld my responsibility to deliver that which I have said I would deliver……and “neither rain, nor snow, nor gloom of night” has kept me from my divine appointment. I feel proud and humbled at the same time. Like holding my baby in my arms seconds after birth……proud at seeing that I had brought forth into this dimension a real and perfect physical being…..humbled by the very nature of this awesome and heavenly miracle. Proud and humble. Proud that I have brought forth the message into this physical point of time and space. Humbled at the honor of being the one chosen to deliver that message to another being who is searching at that moment to remember who he/she is, and perhaps looking for something to hold onto, a tiny tidbit translated from their heavenly beingness to their earthly beingness. A connection to their God-self. Because maybe their bridge washed out……because of their tears, because of their fears…….and they had contracted with me to cross their path at that moment with a reminder from Mother/Father God……..a care package…..cookies from home, so to speak. And so I am honored to play the role of UPS – Universal Perfection Servant – and deliver the message from Home. That they are never alone. That they are never separate from God. That they have come to provide a unique and valuable service, which can be accomplished by no other quite with the same result. That they are Loved, always and unconditionally. No matter how things seem to be. No matter what their “little-self” tells them. There is no separation.
Sometimes the bridge may seem to be invisible, but it is never “out”. During just such moments, the Light shines on the perceived chasm, and voila! the connection, or bridge, is seen once again. In the cosmic ocean, everyone is an expert swimmer. Therefore, even using deductive reasoning, or the mental approach, it is obvious that “my baby”, or my little self, is indeed not on the other side. There is no other side.
Could this, then, be a time when the message I carry is for ME? My Higher Self delights in allowing me to think that this time the message will be different. But it isn’t. It never is. It is always the same, and that is that I Am One with All That Is. I Am a Perfect Me. I Am Loved, eternally and unconditionally. And so are You. That’s the Truth, mental processes or not. Belief structure or not. Neat little package, isn’t it? See you next time………same channel, same message.
Joy to the World!
KJ Weaver/JoyUs
6-22-04 copyright Karen Joyce Weaver. All rights reserved.
(*1) Bridge Washed Out - Warner Mack Label: Decca #1 country hit in 1965
Composers: Jimmy Louis, Sandra Smith, Mart Melshee
Also recorded by George Jones and Ricky Nelson
Copyright © 2017 Karen Joyce Weaver. All Rights Reserved.